Alone
by bond2012
Summary: Basically a story about Snape realising that Harry is not the same as James. Mentor type thing. No slash. Post war. Everyone thinks Snape is dead but he obvs isnt!
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own the characters**

**Alone**

Severus Snape awoke at 4.32am. He clambered out of bed and scrunched up his face because of the pain in his left knee. It was aching more than usual. He stumbled across the room to a thick dressing gown hanging off the back of the door and a walking stick that was leaning against the wall. Once wrapped tightly in the gown and resting eavily on the stick he hobbled across the room to a leather armchair by the window. He lowered himself into it and lit a lamp with his wand. Panting slightly from such a stressful awakening he closed his eyes and leant back into the chair to catch his breath. Snape summoned a pair of reading glasses from his coat pocket with a lazy flick of his wand and began to read the book which was resting on the table by his chair.

It was barely dawn and a small ray of weak sunlight was dancing on the page of his book making him loose concetration. "Inky?" he called softly. With a loud crack came the appearance of a female elf who was bowing so low, her long nose was brushing the carpet at her master's feet. "Master?" she squeeked. "Could you bring me some breakfast?" Snape said "Of course master." then with another crack, she disappeared. Snape leant back in his chair again and closed his eyes letting the sun dance on the back of his eyelids creating shapes of gold, red and orange on his eyes. A loud crash disturbed his peace and he opened his eyes sharply.

"Probably just Inky, she dropped the tray no doubt." Severus thought and was about to return to his peaceful dreamstate when a crack brought a quivering elf into his sight. "What is it Inky?" snapped Snape, he dropped his angry tone when he saw the expression of fear on the young elf's face. "What has happened? Inky?" the elf trembled as she spoke "Master there is an intruder. Master, Inky saw him on the step. He is on the step master." Snape dismissed the elf and stood up quickly, ignoring the pain in his knee. He swept over to the door and grabbed a cloak before heading down the stairs silently to the front door.

Snape held the doorhandle tightly between his long fingers, after waiting for a few seconds he threw it open to reveal a young man lying on the steps, face down in the night air. The cold of the night brushed over Snape forcing him to shiver but he spoke out to the boy on the step. "Who are you? Declare yourself." No reply. "Declare yourself now or i shall jinx you." The boy raised his head enough for Severus to catch a flash of green eyes before it slumped back down to the floor.

"Potter?" Snape asked. The boy was now unconciouss so Snape pulled him up by his arm and with suprising strength and dragged him into the house.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

When Harry Potter awoke he was no longer lying in the gravel outside in the cold. He was lying on a leather sofa by a roaring fire in a dark room. Someone had placed a large, soft throw over him, it was a deep emerald colour and it was very warm. Harry wrapped it more tightly around himself and began to look around the room from the comfort of the sofa. The walls were lined with bookshelves stuffed to breaking point. Around the fire were two sofas and a large leather armchair which was occupied...

"Potter, tell me how you found out i was not dead." said a snarling voice from the shaddows. Harry gulped sheepishly, Snape was angry.

"Erm... well Professor McGonagall might have mentioned that you were living up north." Snape was still hidden by the shaddows and was making Harry very nervous.

"How did you find out where i am living?" he whispered in a dangerous voice

"Well i looked up the most remote Scottish towns and then i looked for inhabitants under a similar name to you. There was one named Peter Snape and another called Severus Prince. I tried Peter Snape first but realised it wasn't you so came to this address." Snape did not reply.

"Inky." he called softly

Another crack and the house elf appeared once again.

"Yes Master?"

"Bring Mr Potter and I some tea."

The elf disappeared with another crack leaving the two men in silence. Harry tried desperately to break the awkward atmosphere. After all he was here to get Snape's help and hopefully gain his trust and friendship after all he had done for him.

"So, how have you been?" Snape looked at Harry and raised an eyebrow. The boy was seriously asking him how he was? Well, it wouldn't be the first time a Potter was ignorant and down right insensitive.

"I have been living here alone Mr Potter, trying to heal the injuries that nearly brought about my death as you well know."

Harry coughed awkwardly.

"Sorry Professor."

"I am no longer you're Professor Potter, nor have i been for 5 years."

"Oh... sorry Sir."

Snape nodded in Harry's direction. He was saved the strain of trying to make conversation by the arrival of the house elf carrying a tray laden with scones and tea. Trying to hide his desperation for food, Harry let Snape be the first to take something from the tray.

"I know you are hungry Potter." Snape sneered "That is why i sent for food. Eat."

Harry needed no further invitation. He took a scone and began eating without even applying butter. Snape watched with an amused expression on his face.

"When did you last eat Potter?"

Harry looked down again, ashamed.

"Er... a while ago sir."

Snape nodded his understanding and said

"Why have you come here?" Harry looked up at the man sitting in front of him. He put down the scone and began to explain.

"I need some help. I'm struggling. I gave everything up to defeat Voldemort and now that he has gone, i've got nothing. During the war, the Death Eaters raided my Gringotts vault, i've got no money. Obviously my Aunt and Uncle left me with nothing. I lost the only person i love because i told her we couldnt be together and now she is married to someone else. My friends have lives of their own and i dont want to intrude begging for money. I cant go back to Grimmauld Place to live. Its too painful. Sir, to tell the truth, i'm on the edge. I came here as a last resort. I hoped you could change my mind and tell me there is something worth living for or i'm just going to end it all."

Snape took a moment to consider Harry's words. He had always wondered what the boy would do after the war, how he would cope, but Dumbledore had told him not to worry, Harry would be fine. He was wrong. He knew if he was anything like his mother he would need to see the purpose in something before he would do it. And Snape had been correct.

"Why did you come to me?" Snape asked in a low voice,

"I know how much you gave up to help fight this war sir. I know you lost everything. Your memories helped me understand what you had given up. Also i thought you might be... lonely." Harry looked up at Snape again. He wasnt smiling.

"Potter. I am living alone because it is what i want. It is true, i have lost everything, but Potter, i had nothing to begin with. Therefore, i cannot help you."

Harry stood up.

"Thank you for the scone sir. I'll be going then..." He turned and walked to the door.

" Harry?"

The use of his first name had caught him off guard and he stumbled slightly before he turned around.

"Don't waste your life. Your mother and ... father... never got a chance to live theirs. Don't let him ruin your life as well."

Harry goggled at the old potions master giving him caring advice.

"Er... thanks sir." He smiled at the expressionless Snape. It was not returned.

"And Potter. Do not come back here again." The door was opened behind Harry without being touched and he stepped out of the warm house into the early morning air.

"Thanks again sir!" the door slammed.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Harry stepped carefully down the stairs leading up to Snape's little house considering the potion master's words carefully. He was heading across the road into the street when he stopped for a moment to think.

"What am I going to do?" he thought, "I have no money, no house and no where to go. He didn't help. I though going to him would help me get answers. The stupid git."

"WHAT DO I DO?" Harry yelled into the early dawn. Several birds fluttered away from their nests in alarm at the sudden loud noise. Harry heard a door open and an angry snarling voice call,

"Potter if you would kindly vacate my premises without waking all the neighbours..." Harry turned to see Snape framed in the doorway of his house. He was thinner than usual, he looked old and tired and his usually ebony hair was flicked with grey. He was leaning heavily on a thin black walking stick and his brow was furrowed as though he was resisting the urge to scream in pain.

"Sir...?" Harry asked half hoping Snape would respond with a full explanation of his ill health

"What Potter?" he snapped

"Why do you look so ill?" Harry asked feeling childish

"Because Potter, as it seems to have escaped your mind, i was attacked by a rather large snake and left alone to die. I am now trying to regain my health however interuptions such as yours are making that task so difficult." at this he slammed the door and left Harry alone in the street.

Near the centre of town was an old shop which had been boarded up and evacuated after it had gone into liquidation. Harry took out his wand and casually blasted enough boards away to grant him entry. Once inside, he slumped against the wall, his head in his hands and began to think.

What was he going to do now? He had made things worse with Snape and he had nowhere to go. He decided to sleep the day away in the old shop and deal with the events of the day tomorrow.

When Harry awoke his fingers were so numb he could barely move them, but they were considerably warmer than his toes. He tried to stand up but it was difficult as he was frozen. He tried to perform the buebell flames charm Hermione used to do back in the days when they would walk through the Hogwarts grounds. As he reminisced, he found that he could not produce the flames and so had to warm himself up by standing up against his body's protests and walk around and out of the old shop. He had nowhere to go.

Harry began to walk aimlessly into the town where the streets were lned with butchers, fishmongers, greengrocers and stores with old books. Now he knew where Snape had come to fill up all his bookshelves. He was walking about the waking town when he heard footsteps behind him. He turned to see Snape wallking slowly towards him leaning on his cane and looking dangerous. He was wrapped up in a black overcoat and thick scarf which covered all of his neck and a little of his chin. Harry stopped moving and watched him approach. Even in his ill health he moved like a bat. Gracefully with an air of superiority and creepiness. He stopped in front of Harry and said

"Where are you going?"

Harry snorted "Nowhere." Snape ignored that and repeated the question

"Where are you going?" when he recieved no response he muttered in a low voice

"I am sorry i could not be of any help Potter but there is nothing i can do for you." Snape was looking awkward and he spat each word out as if it was paining him deeply.

Harry snorted again. He was angry that even the cold Professor Snape had lost interest in him. Nobody cared how much he had lost and given up. Nobody cared as long as Voldemort was gone. Nobody cared that he had been torured, laughed at, mocked and ignored. He had killed and watched loved ones being killed. He had given everything up to save the wizarding world from the man that ruined his life and now that he had succeeded nobody cared anymore. They all slunk back into their uncaring routines that only revolved around their own lives. Nobody spared a thought for him or even for the other victims of war. Lupin. He had lost his wife. Sirius. He had lost his life. Hermione. She had lost her parents when she realised the memory charm could not be undone. And the worst thing was, these people didnt care either. Everyone was so consumed by themselves and their own problems that they couldnt even take the time to help each other. And here was Snape. A man Harry had told the world was brave, noble and worthy, standing before him. Hiding. Unhelpful. Uncaring. Self-consumed.

"SHUT UP." Harry yelled. He couldnt bare it.

"DONT PRETEND YOU CARE, YOU DONT. YOU ARE JUST LIKE THE REST OF THEM. YOU ONLY CARE IF IT CONCERNS YOU. I'M OK. I'LL BE FINE. I'LL GO AND FIND A NICE CONCRETE FLOOR TO CURL UP AND DIE ON AND HEY! MAYBE IF I'M LUCKY A TRAMP WILL COME AND PISS ON ME. THE FAMOUS HARRY POTTER. I'M STARVING, FROZEN AND DYING AND ALL BECAUSE I GAVE UP EVERYTHING FOR A WORLD THAT JUST DOESNT GIVE A CRAP ABOUT ANYONE ELSE."

Snape looked at Harry. He considered the bags under his eyes, the paleness of his skin. He looked at the skinny arms and ragged clothing. He saw what Harry had become. He had become a victim of society. Severus Snape had watched Lilly's only son give up his life to save everyone else and then watched as the world tossed him aside and left him to die.

"Have you got any money at all?" Snape asked

"No." Harry spat back

"Perhaps you should try getting a job."

"Ha." Harry snorted "Noone will employ me. I'm a has been. Everyone overlooks me. I tried. I've applied for job after job. Nobody takes 'Harry Potter' seriously."

Snape glared at Harry.

"Why have you given up so easily Potter?"

"I havent."

"Yes you have. You have given up. You have resigned yourself to a life of poverty. I did not give up. I was lying bleeding to death and i didnt-"

"MAYBE IM NOT AS GOOD AS YOU SNAPE. MAYBE THIS IS ALL IM MEANT TO BE. I WAS AVERAGE AT EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING EXCEPT KILLING LORD VOLDEMORT AND NOW THATS DONE IM MEANT TO JUST DISAPPEAR."

Snape watched as Harry bit his lip to hold back tears.

"I'm sorry."

Harry looked up startled. Why was Snape apologising, it wasnt in his nature.

"Huh?"

"I'm sorry Harry. For ignoring you, bullying you and treating you wrongly. Your father took the only thing that ever meant anything to me away. He won … he won Lilly from me. I lost her. I lost everything I gave up everything because there was nothing for me to give. I'm sorry." Snape's face was contorted and sour. He looked as though he was saying each word because somebody behind him was torturing him to do so. Harry was shocked. This was not the Snape he remembered. He was even more afraid of the new Snape with his bitter truths and harsh realities.

Harry flinched at Snape's words. It was awkward to see such a change in the old man. He had been so vile. A bully. Never giving in, stubborn and scary now he was just an old man, frail and graceful apologisng for the sins in his past. For the first time since the day he almost died, Harry saw Severus Snape as a human.

"Thank you." Harry muttered, "Thank you for apologising. I'm sorry too. I shouldnt have come here and dumped all this on you. I'm really sorry sir"

"I think you can call me Severus as i am no longer your teacher."

"Ok Severus."

Harry looked down at the ground.

"What should I do?"

"Go back to Grimmauld Place Harry. Live there until you can find a new place to live."

Harry thanked Snape then apparated to the top step of number 12.

Snape stood in the street. He was surprised. He couldn't believe how much Potter had been through since the war. He was right of course, he had been forgotten. He couldnt believe that the world could be so cruel. Snape understood cruelty at the hands of fate but he couldnt understand why it had happened to Potter.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Snape turned in the street and began to make his way back to his solitary house; his mind was riddled with Harry's words. He was surprised to find that the boy was right. He needed to do something. He needed to help the boy. Now that the war was over, perhaps it was time to let go of the past. Everyone else certainly had seemed to. But he, Severus Snape was still clinging on to a childhood grudge.

It was all so foolish. James Potter had even apologised for the years of torment a year after they had left school. Lilly and James had sent him Christmas cards, birthday cards and letters for years. He had never replied. They had no idea how twisted he had become. It was not until Snape was asked to do the unforgivable that he realised how bad his life had become. It was then that he tried to back out, tried to become a good man. It was too late. She was dead.

And the only way he knew to honour her memory was to care for her son. She had loved him so much. Every letter had given Snape an update on the boy's progress. Not that he had cared. He had ignored every attempt James made to make friends and the boy was just another victim of Snape's bitterness. At school he had tortured him, made each potions lesson a misery and any other time he could too. Why? Because he looked so much like James. His smile, his hair, his glasses, even his movements. Also, his eyes were hers. His eyes were the perfect eyes that Snape had gazed into for years. They even had the same mischievous twinkle that Lilly's had. He had longed for those eyes to love his. He had watched them convey every emotion. Happiness, sadness, hatred, anger… And Harry's eyes did the same. Snape couldn't bear how much they looked like hers. He couldn't bare to see them on a child who was part hers part James'. He couldn't look at Harry without hatred surging up inside him masked with a hint of desperate longing and hatred of himself. Every time they caught each other's eyes Snape was forced to look away because Harry made sickness rise inside him. He felt sick. Guilty. Alone. Bad. And sick.

As he walked Snape realised that he was crying. They were tears of frustration. He couldn't believe how wrong he was. He raised a shaking hand to wipe away the flood of water rolling down his aged face. He brushed his hair back. It fell, greasy and limp back to its usual position around his face. He stopped. The pain in his knee was too much. He stumbled forward. How was he going to get home? He began to panic. Then suddenly it gave way and he fell to the concrete floor. The pain was shooting up and down his leg. His breathing became ragged and sharp as he tried to resist the urge to vomit from the pain. The tears were still falling but now they were tears of supressed pain. Just as Snape thought he was going to black out he heard a distant voice.

"Professor?" Harry was back. "Sir? Are you alright?"

Harry began to run towards the heap of black clothing which was Severus Snape. Snape began to relax. He'd be ok now. Just hold on. Potter is coming to help.

"Sir! What happened?" Harry looked into the old man's eyes and the surge of sickness rose inside Snape's chest again. He looked away quickly and pointed to his knee with a trembling hand.

"Its ok Sir. I'll help you get back home. I'll help you get home and then I'll call for help. Sir?" Snape looked up at Harry. He was staring down at him with concern; his eyes flashing with fear, but his face trying to show false calm. Snape raised his hand and grasped Harry's arm tightly. Harry understood and heaved the man up onto his feet. His knee gave way again and he collapsed. Harry caught him before he hit the floor and dragged a reluctant arm over his shoulder.

"Sir, put all your weight onto me and I'll carry you back." Harry said softly.

Snape nodded and grasped his walking stick tightly.

Slowly but surely the two men stumbled along the road back to Severus' house. Once at the door, Harry pulled down the old handle and dragged Severus into the threshold. He pulled him to the sofa where he sat down and began to pant with relief. Harry watched as Snape brushed his hair away from his face and covered his eyes with shaking hands.

"Are you ok sir?"

"How did you know to come back?"

"Oh. Well when I got to Grimmauld Place I thought 'oh will Snape get home ok? He's got a bad leg.' So I apparated back to check you'd gone. I saw someone fall and assumed it must be you…"

"Thank you."

Harry smiled "Any time Sir."

"Severus."

"Oh yeah… sorry Severus."

"Inky." Snape whispered in a tired voice. The elf appeared at his feet and began squeaking her concern.

"Master ought not go out! Master is not well! Master knows his knee is bad!"

"Inky be quiet. Go and get the potion off my desk in the lab."

Inky scuttled away cursing her master's idea of following the 'Potter boy'.

"Severus are you ok?" harry was looking at Snape with concern again.

"Fine." He replied waspishly.

"Perhaps you should go to St Mungo's and-"

"And what Potter? Admit that I'm not dead?"

"Oh I forgot."

"That much is obvious."

Snape was back to his old, sarcastic self.

"I'm fine."

Harry looked around at the house. Although it was filled with items, they all appeared shabby and worn. The sofa was covered in tears and the carpet was threadbare. The wallpaper was pealing and the shelves were falling apart. Harry suspected that Snape was also out of pocket.

"Er… Severus?"

Snape grunted in reply

"How do you earn money if you're in hiding?"

Snape looked up. His face was void of emotion.

"I don't."

"Then how do you…erm… get food and stuff?" Snape waited for a while before saying,

"With great difficulty."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 Just a quick thanks to everyone who's been reading this and to all those writing reviews. I will write as quickly as I can! x

Harry dropped the subject of money when he realised it was obviously something which was troubling Snape. He watched as Inky brought Severus the potion and watched as he drank it. Slowly his breathing returned to a regular pace and became less ragged. When Harry could see that Snape was going to be ok, he stood up and coughed to get his attention.  
"Er...I'm going now if thats ok... I'll keep in touch." Snape nodded but did not show any signs of emotion. Harry gave him a weak smile and headed to the door. As he left the house he made a decision. He decided that from that moment onwards he would put past feuds behind him and try to help and befriend Severus Snape. After all, he had saved his life many times. Little did Harry know, Snape had made a similar decision less than an hour ago.

From the town centre Harry aparated back to Grimmauld Place. He arrived on the doorstep of number 12 at about 5.47am. The sun was now shining but weakly. It peaked out from behind clouds that were still leaving the air musky and fresh from the night. Harry stood awhile in the morning cold and stared at the door. It was undisturbed. He remembered the last time he had visited, who knew what state the place would be in since the death eaters had gained entrance! Harry stared a while longer. Sirius had lived here. Sirius had paced this buildings floors, demented and alone. He had slunk into its bedrooms for peace during the busy christmas period. He had eaten in the kitchen, slept in the beds and lived inside the walls. After taking a deep breath Harry opened the door.

He wasnt quite sure what he was expecting; perhaps a creature bursting out at him or a ghost swirling in the silence crying out for revenge. However the house was silent. The corridoor ahead was dusty and undisturbed, a few pieces of furniture lay smashed on their sides but otherwise the house was the same as he last remembered it. Taking a hesitant step inside, he closed the door behind him. He walked down the coridoor in silence, re-assured by the click of his footsteps. The dust rose in small clouds with each step. Harry whispered "Kreacher?" And with a loud crack, which startled Harry so much he had to grab onto the banister of the staircase to stop himself from falling, Kreacher appeared before him. He looked older and more wrinkly than ever. His large folds of skin looked clean and he had a rosy colour in his face. Harry smiled at him and he bowed low crying "Master has returned to old Kreacher! Kreacher has missed his kind master!" The golden locket Harry had once given him was swinging round his neck as great tears of joy sploshed down onto the carpet.  
"I've missed you too Kreacher. Its good to be back." Harry said quietly. Kreacher looked at Harry and said "Is master staying long? Is he coming to live here?" Harry thought for a moment then replied.  
"Forever." Kreacher beamed then announced that he would begin cleaning and cooking. He hobbled off to the kitchen and left Harry in the corridoor.

Harry Potter stood in the grimy entrance of Number 12 Grimmauld Place and thought about his life. He had nothing, so why not start afresh here? Perhaps Snape was right. Maybe he should stay here. He would settle in and spend the rest of his life alone because, like Snape, thats what he wanted. Nobody would miss him! They had spent the last 4 years since Voldemort's defeat ignoring him and leaving him to rot. No. He would stay here with Kreacher caring for him and live in solitude and peace. With this decision in mind he entered the living room and slumped into the dusty old sofa. Which is where he stayed for the remainder of the year.

(This chapter is short for a good reason!)x 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 15th August Dear Severus,

I suppose you were right! I am enjoying the solitude of life here at Grimmauld Place. I am being well cared for by Kreacher and I am feeling a lot happier. I did a lot of thinking and decided that a life alone was what I needed. Your words were really helpful and I am very glad I came to see you. Perhaps when your knee is a bit better I could visit again? I'd like to keep in touch and try and repair old grudges because you've done a lot for me and I'd feel better if i could repay that even just a little bit. Thanks again.

Harry

**************************************************************************************************************************  
16th August

Dear Mr H Potter,

I would like to thank you once more for assisting my return home last week and am glad to hear that you are doing well.

Yours Sincerley

Prof. S Snape

After Snape's very brief letter several week past without Harry speaking to anyone. On the third week of his recluse a tawny owl arrived at the window bearing a letter addressed to Harry. He took it and the owl left immediately. Harry regonised the writing at once. It was from Hermione...

***************************************************************************************************************************  
8th September

Dear Harry,

I know that you are hiding at Grimmauld Place. It really is childish of you to lock yourself away. I know you have been struggling recently but shying away from everyone who loves you will not help. Ronald and I are missing you very much, as are Mrs Weasley, Remus and the children. Please Harry, don't lose sense of yourself. We all miss you got a job in the ministry as a manager in the Accidental Magic Reversal Squad last week and there will be a party for his acheivement on Saturday at the Burrow. Please come, it would mean the world to him. We bought Hugo his first broom yesterday and he is very eager to gain some flying tips from his godfather! I hope that you are well and that you will attend the party. It begins at 4pm.

Lots of Love Ron, Hermione, Hugo and Rosy xxxx

After reading the letter he threw it into the fire and watched it curl up and perish in the flames. He would not attend the party. He needed to be alone. Hermione was meddling in something she didn't understand. Harry needed to relax, to forget the past and to heal. He had lost so much he just needed time to heal...

13th September

Dear Harry,

We were very disappointed when you did not turn up to the party yesterday. I hope that you are well and understand that you probably have a good excuse. Hugo fell off his broom and broke his arm! Luckily as I am a healer it wasnt to much of a problem. Ronald enjoyed the party very much and made a very entertaining speech which you would have enjoyed. We spent the evening reminising the old days at Hogwarts. Please Harry, we all miss you so. Please dont lock yourself away like this.

Lots of love Ron, Hermione, Hugo and Rosy xxxx ****************************************************************************************************************************

Kreacher watched as Harry burned Hermione's second letter and tottered towards him with a tray laden with breakfast. His master was growing thinner and thinner by the day as he refused most food and drank quite a lot of firewhisky. Often Kreacher caught him smashing the bottles in a fit of rage or alternatively crying into his hands. Kreacher knew that Harry was not ok but there was nothing he could do.

14th September

Dear Severus,

I thought i would write as it has been a while since i last heard from you. I hope that you are well and that your knee is recovering.

Hary

15th September

Dear Mr Potter,

My knee is recovering nicely thank you.

Prof. S Snape

When Harry recieved Snape's latest letter he scrunched it up in his fist angrily and threw it into the fire so hard it bounced out and lay smouldering on the rug. He fell back down into the sofa and yelled for Kreacher to bring him another bottle. Harry's appearance had changed a lot. He was thin and pale. His stubble was growing quickly and he was shaking all over constantly. His mood ranged from angry to angrier and all he did all day was drink firewhisky alone.

19th September

Dear Professor Snape,

I am sorry to bother you but I need to talk to you urgently about Harry Potter. He is refusing to answer anyone's letters and nobody has heard from him or seen him for about 2 months. He mentioned briefly going to visit you and i wondered whether he ever did and whether you are in touch with him as we are all terribly worried. Once again, sorry to disturb you and I hope you are well.

Yours Sincerly

Mrs Hermione Weasley (formerly Miss H Granger)

22nd September

Dear Mrs H Weasley,

I have been visited by Mr Potter and have recieved several short letters from him since. Please do not write to me again.

Prof. S Snape

(The letter style is only for a short while longer I promise but its important to the plot. I hope you enjoyed it so far.) x 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Hermione stormed down the street at Grimmauld Place. She hurried determinedly past numbers 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 and stopped beside the houses 11 and 13. She sniffed angrily and waited. Number 12 did not appear. Harry had changed the Fidelius snorted haughtily, as if that would keep her out. Pointing her wand at the wall between 11 and 13 she stared ahead, her focus unbroken, chanting under her breath. Suddenly the wall rumbled although none of the occupants of the neighbouring houses realised. Slowly another house squeezed its way out of the gap and landed with a slight shudder in front of Hermione. She smiled quickly and made her way up the steps to the front door.

Without knocking she burst open the door with a quick spell and stormed into the house. It was clean and looked deserted. She continued down the hall until she reached the door which past experience allowed her to know was the door to the living room. She burst open this door with another spell and stepped into the room to see...

"Mmione? 'choo doing here?" Harry strained his eyes in the light that had flooded into the room from the open door. He was lying on the floor surrounded by empty bottles. His face was matted with stubble and his hair was long and shaggy. He had adopted a similar look to the one Sirius had after escaping Azkaban. He raised a shaking arm to cover his eyes and slumped back down to the floor. Hermione walked calmly to the curtains and tore them open filling the room with midday sun. Harry protested drunkenly but she ignored him. She then turned and yelled 'KREACHER.'

The trembling elf appeared muttering his worries under is breath. "The Muggle born must not be here. Master is not fit to see. Kreacher is caring for his poor master. She ought not interfere."

"Kreacher." Hermione demanded "When was the last time Harry ate?" her voice shook with supressed rage.  
"Master refuses most food. Master only drinks."  
Hermione crouched down to the floor. Upon closer inspection Harry was thin and stunk of alcohol and sweat. She leant closer to him, as if to pick him up, then to both Kreacher and Harry's suprise she slapped him sharply round the face causing his glasses to fall off. Harry had once witnessed her slap Draco Malfoy and had made a mental note never to give her reason to slap him. He should have taken his own advice.

"Z'at for?" he spluttered, sitting up.  
"Have you any idea how worried i've been?" she whispered in a deadly imitation of Mrs Weasley. "I have been writing to you every day, begging you to reply. I THOUGHT YOU HAD DIED. I THOUGHT SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAD HAPPENED TO YOU. I HAD TO GET IN TOUCH WITH PROFESSOR SNAPE TO FIND OUT WHETHER YOU WERE STILL ALIVE." She yelled until her voice was hoarse and Harry just stared at the floor like a guilty child.

"Well?" she demanded. Harry didnt know what to say. He just rubbed his eyes and tried not to vomit. She looked at him with disgust then said. "Kreacher get me a bucket of cold water please." Kreacher scurried away as Harry stood up clumsily. "I'm sorry Hermione...I've just-" he hiccoughed "Just been..." his words were slurring and his eyes were fuzzing...

SPLASH

Cold water hit Harry in the face setting every nerve on fire. His eyes burst open and his hair slopped over his face. He was shocked. His whole body had awoken as though someone had just stabbed him with a red hot poker. He stood in stunned silence for a moment before Hermione spoke, her voice filled with venom.

"Sober up. Take a shower and put on some fresh clothes. Its Christmas in a week and you are spending it at the Burrow. No excuses." Then she stormed out of the house leaving Harry standing in the living room, sopping wet and in shock.

Kreacher walked off muttering... "Master should have listened to Kreacher. Kreacher warned him..." 


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Severus Snape was getting dressed in his bedroom when there was a knock at the door. Cursing the visitor, he buttoned the last of his tunic and began to walk downstairs with his cane. The visitor knocked again.  
"Im coming!" Snape snapped angrily. He opened the door to find a very thin man with ruffled untidy hair and broken glasses standing alone on his doorstep, shivering as the snow fell around him.  
"I told you not to visit me again." Snape said. Harry Potter looked up. He was wearing very worn clothes which looked ragged and torn. He had a thin scarf wrapped around his neck and his cheekbones were highly visible on his pale, yellowing face.  
"Sorry." he said in a tired voice.  
"What do you want?" asked Snape.  
"Help." Harry replied.  
Nobody spoke for several minutes. Harry looked up at Snape. He was standing up straighter and resting more lightly on the cane, a good sign to indicate that his knee was healing. His hair was less limp and looked recently washed. His face was fuller as though he had eaten several square meals. He looked more like the potion's master who had terrified the students of Hogwarts and less like the ill old man Harry had visited not long ago. Harry was glad to see him improving.  
"You look well." said Harry without meeting Snape's eyes.  
"I can't say the same for you." Snape replied in a low voice "Have you eaten at all this week?"  
"No." Harry mumbled "Hmmm" Snape looked at Harry as though inspecting him. "I do not wish for you to stand here all day Potter, I have somewhere to be. Tell me what you want quickly or leave." Snape sneered.  
"Oh." Harry looked embarrassed. "Oh...it doesnt matter if you are busy." and he turned to leave his footsteps crunching in the thin layer of snow.  
"Mr Potter, it is Christmas Day. Why are you alone?"Snape asked. Harry stopped walking and replied without turning round,  
"It is what I want." Then he walked out of Snape's front yard and down the street. Severus Snape took his cane and left the house not long after Harry had left. He walked to the centre of town, which was deserted, and apparated.

He arrived in London several seconds later. He was stood alone in an alley way by an old telephone box. The paint was peeling and someone had smashed the glass. Snape opened the stiff rusted door and stepped inside. It smelt of urine and the phone was hanging off its wire. He took several coins from the pocket of his thick black coat and deposited then in the slot. He then dialed a number and waited.

"Welcome to the Ministry of Magic. Please state your name and business." Snape spoke in a cold clear voice.  
"Severus Snape, here to speak to the Minister of Magic."  
"Thank you." said the crisp female voice "Visitor, please take the badge and attatch it to the front of your robes." With a small clunk, a silver badge fell into the coin shoot and Snape took it. He was pinning it to his coat when the voice spoke again.  
"Visitor to the Ministry,you are required to submit to a search and present your wand for registration at the security desk which is located at the far end of the atrium." Snape waited again and stood still as the phone box rattled and began to move downwards slowly.  
"The Ministry of Magic wishes you a pleasant day."  
Snape stepped out into an empty room which was the same as it had always been. It shone and glimmered in the light and the enchanted windows showed snow falling serenly from the sky. Snape's footsteps echoed as he walked past the empty fireplaces and tall windows. The only thing missing was the Statue of Magical Bretheren which he knew had been destroyed in a battle between Lord Voldemort and Albus Dumblerdore. In its place was a large statue of a wand in a circle of fire. Upon closer inspection Snape realised that the moving flames were actually photographs of those who had been killed in the strife against Voldemort. A plaque on the base of the statue read:  
"This is a memorial to all who lost their lives fighting He Who Must Not Be Named. They all sacrificed the most sacred thing to save us all. We remember them."  
Snape looked again at the flames and watched as he saw himself sulking in between the edges of a photograph taken at Hogwarts while he was headmaster. Next to him were the twinkling blue eyes of a beaming Albus Dumbledore. He searched the flames eagerly until he saw it. There was Lilly Evans, gazing out at him, smiling politely. He looked away and carried on his walk.

Severus reached the office that belonged to the Minister several minutes later. He knocked then waited unil he heard a low booming voice call "Come in." Snape opened the door and walked inside. The Minister was sitting with his back to the door writing feverently with a quill. It took him several seconds before he turned around. Kingsley Shackelbolt turned to face Snape and dropped his quill in shock.

"Severus?" he questioned.  
"Yes." Snape replied "But...but...how?" Kingsley spluttered. Snape almost laughed, he had never seen Kinglsey lost for words, he was normally so calm, that is why he had been elected Snape assumed.  
"I escaped from the Boat house after being attacked by the snake of the Dark Lord by doing some very complicated magic. I was able to stablise my condition enough to apparate away from Hogwarts. The magic preventing apparation had been compromised after the Dark Lord attacked. I was able to find a place to stay until I was well enough to move on. I have been lving in Scotland, away from wizards while I recovered. Now, as I am almost back to my previous health, i have come here to discuss the announcement of my existence."  
Kinglsey didn't speak. He gazed at Snape for several minutes as though he didn't believe it was really him. Then he spoke.  
"But Severus, why have you waited 5 years to announce this?" Snape looked down.  
"I was recovering..."  
Kinglsey seemed to understand without being told that Severus had needed time to cope with all he had lost and done.  
"Ok Severus. I am so glad that you are still alive." Kingsley smiled at Snape but it was not returned however he had spent long enough with the man to know it was just his nature, he was not being rude deliberatley.

Meanwhile, while Snape and Kingsley discussed the best way to break the news to the Wizarding World, Harry Potter stumbled along a road, frozen and alone. He was too thin to stay warm and so collapsed in an alley way. He lay there in the snow wondering whether this Christmas Day would be his last. 


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

The Burrow was bustling. Everyone had turned out to spend Christmas together. Everyone except one person.  
In the Kitchen Mr and Mrs Weasley were chopping, slicing, boiling and baking, trying to cook Christmas Dinner for 21 people. In the living room Hermione was sitting with Ginny and Angelina discussing their husbands and laughing about the funny things their children did. On the floor of the living room sat a young Hugo Weasley, Teddy Lupin and Peter Thomas. Teddy was telling the younger boys some funny spells he had learnt in his first year at Hogwarts and they were both listening with mischevious looks on their faces, their eyes glowing in excitement. In the garden, under a marquee sat Remus Lupin. He looked healthier than usual but his young face was still stained with lines and grey hair filled his head. He was talking quietly to Dean Thomas and George Weasley. They were discussing the problems faced at the Ministry about the after affects of the war in hushed voices. Upstairs, several little girls sat on the floor laughing and plaiting each others hair. Rosy Wealsey, Harriot Thomas and Roxanne Weasley. At about 4pm Neville stumbled through the door, accompanied by Luna who had both just hurried from the train station. They had both become teachers at Hogwarts, Neville a herbology teacher, Luna transfiguration. They bustled into the kitchen to kiss Mrs Weasley and shake Mr Weasley's hand before finding somewhere to settle. Lupin popped into the kitchen to mention that Kingsley would be late from the office and Luna would have to leave at 7pm to meet her new fiance. Nobody really expected the newly resurected Snape to turn up.(Hermione had broken the news) However everyone was quielty wondering whether Harry would arrive. Hermione especially.

The house was decorated lavishly with ornaments and christmas stockings. The tree was glittering with live fairies and the snow outside decorated the roof like icing on a smell of the dinner wafted through the noisy house and the table groaned under ever increasing weight of dishes of food. Everyone was content. Except Ron. He wandered outside alone clutching a butterbeer in his hand. He shivered in the cold and watched the events of Christmas unfolding from outside. The window was lit up showing his whole family laughing and smiling in the warmth of the stuffy house. He stood in the garden, ankle deep in snow and watched. He couldn't help feeling miserable. Christmas wouldn't be the same if Harry didn't turn up. He stalked back into the house and avoided talking to anyone by ducking into the bathroom.

The doorbell rang and little Teddy answered the door beaming when he saw Kinglsey.  
"UNCLE KINGLSEY IS HERE WITH..." His cheer faltered when he saw that Severus Snape was lurking in the doorway, dressed in all black with a look of distaste on his face. Remus came into the corridoor and shook both of the men's hands then patted his son on the back and sent him off to play. Everyone was pleasantly suprised to see Snape and they all shook his hand and beamed at him. He looked thoroughly out of place in the cheery house. Everyone was delighted to see him as nobody had since they had found out from Hermione that he was still alive. Many people wanted to ask him how he survived. Hermione hung back. She'd heard it all from Harry. Ron appeared behind her and put his arms around her waist. She leant back into his chest and smiled.  
"I'm going for a walk ok?" Ron mumbled "What?!" Hermione replied "Its dark and freezing outside!"  
"Its ok. I'll be back soon." then he kissed her tenderly on the head and left her to join in the celebrations.

Outside, the weather was bitter cold. Ron pulled his scarf up to cover his face as his nose was starting to burn in the cold. He walked carefully so as not to slip and help his wand aloft in the dark to see where he was going. When he reached an old street with cobbled roads and old gas streetlamps he apparated to the centre of London. Here the night was lit up with glowing lamps, car headlights and pub windows. He saw happy families eating together and drunken groups stumbling along singing christmas songs loudly. He smiled. He kept walking until he reached the train station. There he boarded the last train. The journey was fast and ROn felt like it was no time before he was stepping off onto the grubby platform. He walked onwards away from the noise of the night, the busy roads, bright streetlamps and happiness into the grimy, empty street leading to Grimmauld Place. To his suprise number 12 was standing before him, the door wide open and the lights on. Sensing toruble, he walked slowly up the steps, his wand help aloft and into the old house.

"Kreacher?" he called. The elf didn't appear with a crack, he hobbled sadly out of the living room. "Kreacher, where's Harry?" Ron asked. The elf fell down to his knees and began to bawl. His eyes filled with tears and his ugly nose running. "Master is gone! Master is far gone! Kreacher cant help master! Kreacher has failed!" Ron stepped over the sobbing elf quickly and entered the living room. There lying in a crumbled heap on the sofa was a very frail, very cold, very dead looking Harry. 


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Back at the Burrow, Snape was tiring of all the Christmas spirit. He was bored of the laughter and begining to wish he was back in his solitary home. He didnt want to talk to anyone so stood up and mumbled something about getting some air before exiting the quiet house. He stood in the contrasted silence of the garden and watched the snow fall. It was then that it occured to him that someone was missing. Harry. He walked away from the house and apparated into the darkness.

Snape hurried up the steps to Grimmauld Place as fast as his bad knee would allow. His cloak swept behind him as he sped. Once inside he called "Potter?"  
"Here! In here!" called a voice Snape vaguely recognised. He swept into the living room of the ancient house to see Ron Weasley bent over the crumpled form of Harry Potter.

"He's not breathing. I think he's dead." Ron was pale and his face was tinging grey. He was clearly going into shock as he was shaking violently and looked as though he was resisting the urge to vomit. Snape oved towards Harry knocking Ron away. He looked down at the unmoving body of the boy. "How long has he been like this?" Snape asked "Not sure, i got here 5 minutes ago, Kreacher found him in the street like this." Ron's voice quivered with each word.  
Snape placed his hand on the boys head. It was cold. He moved his long fingers down to the boys wrist to feel a pulse.  
"There's no pulse i tri-" Snape hused Ron before he could finish. Snape's delicate fingers detected a very weak pulse in the boy's wrist.  
"He is still alive" he announced coldly. Ron looked up.  
"What should I do?" he asked "Go and get as many blankets and items of clothing as possible." Snape replied in a low voice.  
Harry was clearly suffering the effects of hypothermia but, for a man as thin and weak as him, it could potentially be life threatening. Snape began to mutter spells over the body of the boy as Ron stumbled clumsily from the room to find what had been requested. Snape lit a fire and dragged Harry closer. Ron returned and they wrapped him in blankets and put socks over his feet, all the time, Kreacher sobbed in the hallway.  
"I am going to begin preparing the pepper-up potion which will surge heat through his body. This should help." Snape drawled "Watch him for signs of movement. If he wakes, tell him to remain lying down." Ron nodded quickly, unable to speak.

In the Kitchen, Snape began brewing the potion with ease. Had the situation not been so urgent, he would have enoyed it. He missed potion making though he would not admit it. He added each ingredient carefully and brewed the potion with precision and accuracy. Soon it was the exact shade of red it should be and Snape filled a silver goblet with the concoction and took it to Harry. Ron watched as Snape soothed it down Harry's throat and gasped as Harry sat up spluttering and smoking at the ears. Harry coughed for several long seconds. Snape stepped back into the shaddows and let Ron slap Harry hard across the arm.  
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING MATE?" Ron swore angrily and thumped Harry again. He slumped back into the chair and rubbed his temples.  
"I'm sorry.." he slurred "Mate! You might not care about your life, but I do. I'm missing Christmas Day with my family because i spent it worrying about you then left them before dinner to come and find you. Its lucky i did or you'd be dead."  
"Sorry..." Harry muttered again "If I may interupt Mr Weasley." Snape stepped forward. At the sound of his voice Harry sat up and looked at him. "You acted very foolishly tonight Potter. Yet again I was forced to step in and save your life. Did you take in any of the words i said to you in the summer. Did anything i said enter your closed mind?" Snape sneered angrily.  
"Sorry." Harry said again.  
"Right. Fine. Merry Christmas Mate." Ron snorted and left the room. Harry heard him slam the front door and apparate away.

Snape moved towards the door.  
"Please!" Harry started then trailed off. Snape turned round to glare at him.  
"I'm sorry sir. I'm really sorry." Tears trickled slowly down Harry's face. Snape watched as he hurriedly tried to brush them away.  
" I will not save your life again Potter." Snape said.  
"How did you know where I was?" Harry asked "I guessed." Snape replied coldly "Why did you think to come and find me?" Harry wondered aloud.  
"I was at the Burrow. They were all worrying about you." Snape said in a hollow voice."Merry Christmas Potter." He said then he followed in Ron's footsteps and headed out.

Alone in the room Harry heard the only sound in the house. Kreacher's sobs. Of all the things people had said to him, Snape's bitter wish of a merry christmas had struck him most painfully. Everytime he spoke to Severus Snape he was reminded of sarifice and reminded that he was not the only person who had lost things. He felt guilty and selfish as he dragged himself off the sofa.  
"Im sorry Kreacher." he murmered as he past the trembling elf. Half way up the stairs he yelled "Merry Christmas Kreacher."

The elf slunk back to his cupboard still shaking with shock. He opened the door and began to clamberinside when he saw a gift wrapped in brown paper lying on his pillow. He unwrapped it to find a pair of christmas socks and a card saying "Dear Kreacher, Merry Christmas. Perhaps now you can get a job at Hogwarts.  
Lots of Love Harry x"

Ron opened the front door of the burrow and hurried out into the freezing night air. He stumbled and slipped to the bin and began to stuff armfulls of wrapping paper inside it. He was heading back into the slowly calming house when he heard a cough behind him. He froze.

"Ron?" said a voice.  
He turned to see Harry Potter shivering behind him. He stepped forward hoping that Ron wouldn't thump him.  
"Merry Christmas..." he said nervously and held out a box wrapped in brown paper.  
Ron took it and opened it up. Inside was a leather bound book. He opened it to see photographs of Harry, Ron and Hermione at Hogwarts.  
"I'm sorry mate." said Harry Ron looked up at his friend. "I shouldn't have blocked you out." Harry muttered.  
"Its ok..." said Ron "You needed some time...Just dont bloody do it again." Harry smiled weakly and Ron pulled him into a one armed hug.  
"You might want to brace yourself though mate," Ron said "Why?"  
"Because mum will have a fit when she see's how skinny you are..." Harry laughed and headed into the safety of the Burrow accompanied by Ron, feeling warmer, healthier and happier than ever before.

Severus Snape had watched the exchange from the window of an upstairs room. He was glad to see Harry had made up with Ron. Now he could go back to pretending he didn't care.

Thanks for reading :) All credit goes to J K Rowling. Thanks for all the reviews. x


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